By Huy Nguyen, ’23
(An excerpt of this essay was published in the May 2023 issue of Dragon Tales.)
Hundreds of thousands of miles away and you are still illuminated with their presence, as if you’re there with them in real time. These live streamers are friendly, welcoming, and provide an escape from what you live through from your day to day life. But to what extent should you immerse yourself into this fantasy? To what extent do some people consider live streamers not content creators, but friends? With the amount of people that can separate the online personas from reality, there is another group that can’t seem to grasp that concept. If you are in this sphere of social media, then you must recognize when your parasocial relationships are considered dangerous or not.
Parasocial relationship was first coined in 1956 by Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl concerning the psychological attachments to the up and coming television stars. It is defined as, “one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other’s existence.” (Findapsychologist) And with the explosion of technological advancements, these relationships have become more accessible than you have realized. Whether you’re a fan of celebrities, sports, on YouTube, even broadcast television, that all falls under the umbrella of a parasocial relationship. While everyone listed has varying spectrums of parasocialism, there are layers and levels to the extent one is affected by it.
By human nature, we are social creatures, there is no doubting that. Humans crave social interaction, depend on it even. This is no more prevalent than in Spring of 2020, when the coronavirus pandemic sprung and caused nationwide self isolation. “As humans are social animals; the pandemic did disturb their state of mind. The world came to know the dark side of being devoid of human touch and being constrained in closed spaces.” (Cureus) And with the COVID-19 quarantine and self isolation came a variety of mental health dangers that affected hundreds of millions of people. “COVID-19 has set off a wide variation of mental issues, for example, anxiety, panic disorder, and depression.” (Cureus) During this time of darkness, if you lived alone, there was not a lot you could do for yourself. The options that people had were restricted to the things they had at home. Maybe it was cooking, working out, or starting a new hobby. But to the less uninspired seeking social interaction, they went and communicated with the people on the internet, or maybe even depending on the ones willing to make content in those daring times. In such instances, the formation of parasocial relationships will be more frequent, be harder to recognize, and can affect said person much more than they realize.
There are many forms of media and entertainment on the internet in our current era, the model of which gets pushed to innovation everyday. Many of which push the agenda of parasocialism, willingly or not, making use of these human connections and forming an industry around it. The 2 industries that instantly come to mind are the K-Pop and live streaming online industries, both of which have pushed the barriers for people watching their favorite content creators or idols, potentially bringing harm to both. I myself am involved in both communities, consuming content from both, and even having interacted with some niche creators in the past.
Taking a dive into the world of K-pop for a moment, instantly you can tell that this industry thrives off of the relationships that the fans form, often called ‘stans’, when investing themselves with either a person or a group. The word stan itself was coined from Eminem, “”stan” was first coined in 2000 when Eminem dropped a twisted allegory in a song called “Stan,” about a man who was pushed to the edge when his idol wouldn’t answer his fan mail. The word used to be synonymous with overzealous or obsessed.” (NPR) While in 2000 the term was used in a negative connotation, the term now has been repurposed for the use of heavily invested and enthusiastic K-pop fans. These K-pop stans find themselves keeping up the group or idol’s career, watching variety shows, buying albums, keeping photocards, etc. for the interest of their favorite groups or idols. This amount of time, physical energy, and emotional energy eventually leads these individuals to form a long lasting parasocial relationship with their favorite groups or idols. The hole digs itself deeper as sometimes, many K-pop groups hold themselves to things such as fan signings. Fansigns are in person events where these stans can meet their idols in person, hold their hands, have a short conversation with them, bring them gifts, and etc. The fantasy that was formed in their minds has extended to a real life situation, empowering that fantasy that was already there to begin with.
While not having as much as a history behind it, the world of live streaming has expanded significantly in recent years. The most prominent platform that users use to watch live streamers is called Twitch. These Twitch streamers create content on basically anything that has an audience, whether it be video games, just chatting, cooking, anyone who has a committed enough following or an interesting enough personality can create content out of anything. Their presence on the internet have been brief, but has expanded with a very fast rate. Just take a look back at the revenue increase when the start of COVID-19, “Twitch’s U.S. revenue has been climbing at a steady rate. Pre-lockdown, Twitch was bringing in a stable $70,000/day. As the lockdown progressed, however, that number grew and peaked at more than $400,000 in a single day in early May.” (Appfigures) This unprecedented amount of growth could only be explained by the quarantine that the entire U.S. nation had been put in during that spring season, creating a demand for more social interaction, leaving hundreds of thousands of people to rely on apps such as Twitch. What made Twitch so successful in that time is because it is a live streaming platform, fans of the streamers can talk in a live chat and have a chance of the streamer directly interacting with them through it. To increase their chances, fans can also donate to streamers using their hard earned money, sending snippets of messages or questions for their favorite streamers to answer. Like K-pop stans, these fans of said streamers spend time, money, and their emotional energy into forming these parasocial relationships with their favorite internet personas.
At first, these parasocial relationships seem harmless enough, seemingly just like typical mainstream celebrity interactions. However, these parasocial relationships can be taken to through many different levels of extremes. That is when genuine harm can be brought to not only the online personalities and idols, but to their fans at times as well. While these instances are not covered in the mainstream media, as they are more prolific and talked about in their respective communities, there are countless examples out there of crazed fans expecting something more than just a casual viewing experience with their favorites.
For K-pop, extreme cases of adoration turned obsession are not a new concept unfortunately. For sure, it is much more covered in today’s time, with the protection of idols and their groups being more monitored, but extreme exhibitions of crazed K-pop stans have been around since the industry was created. Going back 14 years, a prime example of this can be seen happening to 2PM’s Taecyeon. In a disgusting turn of fate, when the K-pop idol returned home to open this letter, not only was he expecting it to be a fan, but neither was he expecting it to be written in the blood from her menstruation. The letter read, “I dedicate to Taecyeon my period blood letter. Ok Taecyeon, You cannot live without me. Sprinkled with a few strands of my pubes.” (AllK-pop) This outrageous declaration from the fan to the idol shows her objectifying Taecyeon as not a human who just happens to be her favorite idol, but as someone who is indebted to her. She feels a sense of entitlement to that idol’s appreciation and time because she has invested so much of her own time, energy, and money into him and his group. While this is not commonplace, crazed fans known as sasaengs still can do irreparable damage to an idol or group’s mental or physical health, whether its harassing them with hurtful online comments or physically finding out where they live and stalking them, the potential of parasocialism can turn into an extremely unhealthy obsession.
This goes on without saying for online streamers as well. While being in completely different fields in regards to their content streamers and K-pop idols produce, the demographic is eerily similar. Such as a case on a December night in 2015. Going by Ellohime, the streamer conversed with a fan who appeared at his door that night. The Indonesian teen got himself a 1 way flight from Singapore to Florida and walked 25 miles to where he assumed to be Ellohime’s home. The teen found himself in a vulnerable state, and while in that state made the irrational decision that the only person that gave him comfort at that time had been his favorite streamer, someone whose persona he’d assume was kind and genuine through the countless hours of streams he’s watched. Taken from Ellohime himself, “You can’t help but get to know me when you watch me game,” (Kotaku) In this case, Ellohime was not put in any immediate danger, but the potential of harm was brought to him, whether his fan wanted it to be the case or not. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for the streamer QTCinderalla, whose experience with online harassment not only affected her physical safety, but also mental health long term. From her words during an interview with Anthony Padilla, “There have been times I wake up in the middle of the night shaking Ludwig saying, “We’re getting swatted.” “We’re not.” It’s just PTSD.” (Video) This effect has caused her day to day life to be ever changing, never again will she hear a car or helicopter passing by again the same way, always thinking of the endless possibilities that the internet can bring her harm.
Due to many of these prolific and harmful instances happening one too many times, in today’s time, the term parasocial relationship and fans of these forms of media has garnered the attention of most netizens, internet-citizens, mostly being seen in a negative connotation.
However, the only stories that ever get displayed and reported on are negative ones, it pushes an agenda, the more wild the story, the larger the attention gained from people outside and inside the circle of streaming. Take this wholesome example from Valkyrae, who was donated $200,000 anonymously for her charity stream to help out with Jacksepticeye’s Thankmus cause. “Wait, how do you have two hundred thousand dollars to donate, thats crazy, what the heck? That’s actually crazy, that’s so nice.” (Video) She then goes on showing more of her appreciation for the donation, leading her to tears. The person who donated went on and delivered a message along with their donation, “Ok Happy Birthday. Huge Fan, thanks for building homes which means alot to me. Also… you need to raise you goal ;),” (Sportskeeda) This donation was well received by all as the mysterious donor did not put their name, they simply liked Valkyrae’s content, and wished to support her cause. Streaming of course has its many downsides, but people often forget about the community these streamers create. Sure parasocialism is a factor in it all, but many people can recognize that their connection with their favorite streamers has its limitations, they are simply fans, supporters of the creators, not friends.
And obviously, the same can be said about the K-pop community as well. K-pop before the idols, is all about music. There are various videos out on the internet of fans running into their favorite idols and groups, but are still able to be respectful to their environment and to their idol’s space.
Just as any other community, online or not, there will always be extremists. There will always be people there to ruin it for the many who wish the best for the people they derive entertainment from. This limits itself not to just K-pop or streaming, but any other platform out there. The same sentiment goes towards parasocial relationships, there will always be horrible people out there who don’t respect idol’s and streamer’s boundaries. There isn’t a solution for parasocialism, but there doesn’t need to be one. Ask yourself, are you a fan? Or do you find yourself wanting something more from these personalities? Once you’ve figured yourself out, recognize that they’re human too, first and foremost. Creators of all types are not there to inhibit your desires and needs, so if they lack something you are seeking, don’t consume their content. Maybe then will the safety of the viewer and creators be more ensured in this parasocial world.
Works Cited
Ariel. “All the Bits – Twitch Revenue Quadruples during Lockdown.” Appfigures, 29 May 2020, https://appfigures.com/resources/insights/twitch-rakes-in-the-bits.
Kamble, Sakshi, et al. “Influence of Covid-19 Pandemic on Psychological Status: An
Elaborate Review.” Cureus, 1 Oct. 2022, https://www.cureus.com/articles/111985-influence-of-covid-19-pandemic-on-psychological-status-an-elaborate-review#!/.
List, Save To My, et al. “Parasocial Relationships: The Nature of Celebrity Fascinations.” Find a Psychologist, https://www.findapsychologist.org/parasocial-relationships-the-nature-of-celebrity-fascinations/.
Madden, Sidney, et al. “The 2010s: Social Media and the Birth of Stan Culture.” NPR, NPR, 17 Oct. 2019, https://www.npr.org/2019/10/07/767903704/the-2010s-social-media-and-the-birth-of-stan-culture#:~:text=While%20some%20say%20the%20term,synonymous%20with%20overzealous%20or%20obsessed.
Pal, Riddhima. “‘How Do You Have $200,000 to Donate?”: Valkyrae Cries in Disbelief after Receiving a Massive Donation on Livestream.” Sports News, Sportskeeda, 13 Dec. 2021, https://www.sportskeeda.com/esports/how-200-000-donate-valkyrae-left-shook-6-digit-donation.
“When Fans Take Their Love for Twitch Streamers Too Far.” Kotaku, 2 May 2017, https://kotaku.com/when-fans-take-their-love-for-twitch-streamers-too-far-1794815112.
YouTube, YouTube, 12 Dec. 2021, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRvp4Ho0cYY. Accessed 26 Mar. 2023.
YouTube, YouTube, 26 Dec. 2022, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3OFzBEZuyM&t=1438s. Accessed 26 Mar. 2023.